vram46
Novice
Aug 13, 2009, 9:25 PM
Post #14 of 15
(2632 views)
Shortcut
|
50+ reasons for a girl to choose a dog... and not a man A dog has long been a man's best friend. Few women have a problem with that. But when The Field - the magazine devoted to the hunting, shooting, fishing fraternity - suggested 50 reasons why dogs are better than women, it started the paw wars. * Spots are an attractive feature on a dog. * A dog is better protection from intruders. * Dogs enjoy ball games. But they don't spend six hours on the phone trying o get tickets for France 98. * Dogs greet each other by sniffing bottoms. Men are far less polite. * Puppy love doesn't wear off so quickly with a dog. * You can be prosecuted for neglecting a dog. * Dogs can find their way back home - even after a really heavy night out. * Dogs can be trained not to lie on the bed. Men always lie in bed. * A dog can moult without becoming obsessed about premature baldness. * Dogs can be taught the meaning of the word "NO!" * A dog is far less irritation to have in the back seat of a car... * ...and will be less likely to show its rear end to the people in the vehicle behind for a laugh. * Elizabeth Hurley has a faithful dog whom she loves dearly. * If a dog says sausages, that's clever. If a man says sausages, that's just greedy. * Dogs will wait patiently outside clothes shops... * ...and not criticize your purchases afterwards. * A dog will fetch the morning paper for you. * A dog will trot faithfully round at your heel. * Dogs don't break wind in public and blame it on the man. * In the canine world, boxers are quite intelligent. * If a dog gets ill, it won't take eighteen Panadols in order to avoid having to go to the vet. * You can also ask the vet to perform the snip, even if the dog objects. * Small, ginger-haired dogs can be quite appealing. As for men? Two words. Robin Cook. * You can find a nice dog by advertising on a card in a shop window, or in the classified section of the local paper. * A woman can live with more than one dog, without rumours starting. * When dogs beg, it's cute. When men beg it's pathetic. * Dogs sometimes dig the garden. * A dog can go out fox-hunting without being incredibly stuck up and pompous. * Dogs don't necessarily prefer blondes. * Dogs won't get embarrassed if you call them by a pet name when their friends are around. * Dogs travel more cheaply on the bus. * Dogs whine less. * Some dogs can be quite talented at singing. * Men lost the World Cup. A dog found it. * Dogs are less reliant on tinned food... * ...but after a few cans, a dog will still be able to stand up. * And there are some things even a dog won't eat - like the remains of a three-day-old King Prawn vindaloo that they found on the floor behind the sofa. * You can leave a dog alone in your house without worrying so much about what it'll break. * A dog gets a new coat every winter. * Dogs are not so careless about leaving puddles on the bathroom floor. * A dog is less likely to leave a filthy, stinking mess for you to clear up. * For a dog, a wet nose is a sign of GOOD health. * Men are even less useful for testing cosmetics on. * Dogs don't wolf-whistle. * There are still thousands of totally undomesticated dogs in Australia; but far more undomesticated men. * Your dog will never refer to you as 'a bitch'. * In disaster films, the dog is always far more likely to have a miraculous escape. * Dogs do not waste money betting on the dogs. * You can stop dogs getting too randy by throwing a bucket or water over them. * All the best clips on 'You've Been Framed' are the ones with dogs in. * If a dog starts worrying sheep, that's just its natural predatory instinct. * If a MAN starts worrying sheep, however... * A 'King Charles' is much more likely to be a big, floppy-eared dog than a big floppy-eared man. * You can also call a dog schitzu without offending it. * "Working like a dog" is strenuous. Working like a man is, er - not. * You can fondle your dog in the park without being arrested. * A dog will encourage you to lose weight by taking more exercise. A man will just remark on how big your bum looks. * Dogs do not attack other dogs for being a different colour. * Having a dog around the place can actually ease stress. * You'd feel guilty about turning a dog out on the street. * A dog can take a barrel of brandy to a lost mountaineer without drinking ANY. * There aren't so many good reasons to keep a dog muzzled in public. * You can buy a dog's affection with a squeaky toy. * A dog will be eager to walk, rather than getting a taxi. * Most dogs are really good with children. * Dogs have a highly-developed sense of smell. Men, on the other hand, can quite happily wear the same pair of pants for a fortnight. * A dog is more useful for tracking down criminals. * Who did YOU miss most from Blue Peter - John Noakes or Shep? * A dog might actually take a bath of its own accord. * There's more chance of your dog being able to operate the video recorder. * You can buy a choke-chain for a dog. * A 16-year-old dog is very mature. * A dog is easier to keep well-groomed. * Dogs have more chance of receiving an award for bravery. * Dogs are easier to house-train. * Dog do not scratch themselves so much in polite company. * A dog can look as though it understands what you're saying. * Dogs went into space first. * A man will roll over and play dead only if you ask him to get up and make coffee. * Dogs enjoy swimming, and not for the chance to ogle girls in bikinis. * Being a dog's mistress is no reason to feel ashamed. * You can keep your dog tied up if it starts misbehaving. * Saggy skin and a hang-dog look aren't half as appealing on a man. * You can train a dog in obedience. * A dog in a studded collar isn't kinky. * Few men would answer to 'Lassie'. * A dog is a pack animal. A man is a six-pack animal. * Dogs spend the day sniffing drugs only if they're with the police. * Dogs aren't obsessed with 'doing it man-fashion'. * A dog is a faithful companion. * A dog is for life. -@-@-@-@-@-@-@-@-@-@-@-@-@-@-@-@-@-@-@-@-@-@-@-@-@-@-@-@-@-@- Cats and women will do as they please. Dogs and men need to relax and get used to the idea. - Robert A. Heinlein
|